If Mitt Was President (During Hurricane Sandy)

November 2, 2012

1–He would have scheduled a flyover photo-op on his way to sunny California for a campaign fundraiser.

2–He would have herded homeless African Americans into Yankee Stadium and kept them there for 3 days without food or water.

3–He would have deployed armed mercenaries to flood-stricken areas with orders to “shoot to kill” anyone suspected of looting.

4–He would have authorized FEMA to transport thousands of asbestos-filled trailers to the New York and New Jersey to house storm victims.

5–He would have required that victims produce a valid ID, proof of insurance and FICO scores before providing them with first aid or medication.

6–He would have appointed “Brownie” to head the relief effort.

7–He would have terminated all the teachers in the area and turned the schools into “charters”.

8–He would have told the residents of Manhattan and low-lying areas of New Jersey that they should abandon their neighborhoods and move to higher ground “for good”.

9–He would have used professional actors to appear on camera fixing damaged storefronts and homes so it looked like the government was responding to the crisis.

10–He would have ordered the FEMA Director to deal exclusively with GOP “big donors” in issuing contracts for reconstruction.

11–He would have used private contractors to keep pesky journalists from interviewing victims or photographing the damage.

12–He would have used military personnel to stop victims from fleeing the flooded areas on foot, forcing them to turn around at gunpoint.

13–He would have brought in thousands of low-paid immigrant workers who would live in shipping containers to do the reconstruction work.

14–He would have declared martial law, deployed the 82nd Airborne Division to keep the peace, and declared New Jersey and New York “right to work” states.

We’ll never know for sure how Romney would have reacted, but it’s worth mulling over, don’t you think?

Mike Whitney is a regular columnist for Veracity Voice

Mike Whitney lives in Washington state. He can be reached at:

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